I don't know if I'm going to make it...

or one of us isn't going to make it...



This is us, of course, at the fireworks July 11th.

This picture is BEFORE Bubba straight lost his mother effing mind.

I feel so defeated with his behavior.  I knew it was going to an uphill battle with this boy, but I'm telling you this...right now, I am not enjoying being his mom.

He is quick to throw a fit.  He is rude and disrespectful of everyone around him.

He is a damn animal.



I am at a loss.



While we were trying to enjoy the fireworks he was throwing a fit about the sand being all over him.

Hello, we are at the beach dear, sand is GOING to be all over you.

That lead to sand throwing, nasty comments, dirty evil looks, disruption of those around us who were trying to watch the amazing firework show.  When I got up to get on his eye level to tell him to stop he got off of the blanket and ran into the water and stayed there waiting for me to leave the shoreline. 

I said, "NO problem, Bubba, I will wait right here for when you exit."  Seething.

Evil spilling from his eyes and mouth.  He starts splashing water at me to get me to leave.  I about cried.  The embarrassment of not being able to get my son in check is humiliating.  I wanted nothing more than to run my butt into that water and drag that boy out. 

I took a few deep breaths.  When he was threatened with grounding he retreated and came out of the water.  I walked him back to the blanket and told him to sit there and not to get up.  How dare he.

Well, that lasted about as long as it took for my butt to hit my chair.  This time he ran up the beach.  In the midst of thousands of people trying to enjoy their night.  I followed him for a minute until I could see the rat race that was ensuing.

Tears built up again, GOD FORBID someone kidnap my child, how could I leave him to run the beach...but I did.  I walked away.  I will not chase and give him that satisfaction of really pushing me over the edge.

He followed pretty quickly behind me.  I sat him down in the chair and Mr.FF and I started packing up.  IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIREWORKS.  I was boiling. 

Sadly, five other people had to cut their night short because of one badly behaved six year old. 

This was a Sunday, Monday morning he left to spend the week with his Dad.  Therefore any threat of punishment was forgotten by him cause he was in spoiled heaven with his Daddy.

I need to make it stop. 
I want to enjoy being his mother. 
I need to get a handle on this. 
I am frustrated, sad and just....FEEL defeated.

Wordful Wednesday...

This past weekend I wanted to get the heck out of dodge. My cousin and I had been trying to pick a weekend to hang out together.

As kids we were thick as thieves, then something happened.

I've blocked out 85% of my childhood or my memory just sucks donkey I am not sure when or why there was a sudden stop in all the visits. All the weekends and holidays we had spent with this part of the family just STOPPED.



Saturday morning, after the foundation guys did their inspection on our house, I packed up the kids and took off for the rest of the weekend.

We drove, listened to music, and enjoyed watching the scenery.

Once at my cousins we cooked out, her three girls played with my kids, we hung out on her patio, it was NICE. It was relaxing.



The town they live it was adorably cute, small, and quiet. Farmy, yet touristy, I felt warmth there. I could see myself living there.

I won't, but it was fun to dream. It's only about 40 minutes from where we are now...it has a beach just like we do here, it's quiet...I might have even looked in the window of the realty store. Plus it'd be fun to live around that family.

There are three girl cousins on that side, who all have kids that are girls too. It is a girl fest; poor Bubba. ;) They all hang out together a lot, the sisters, their kids, their mom...it's just a bunch of family togetherness.

I guess that is a good thing and a bad thing, but it's one thing that hasn't been happening in my current family situation...so to me, on the outside, it looked pretty darn good.

So for unwinding, I hit most of my marks, sat with a friend (cousin), took pictures (above) and went to the beach. It was a good weekend. Good indeed.
If you want to see more WORDFUL WEDNESDAYS...CLICK THIS BUTTON



or check out, Mostly Wordless Wednesday...

You Capture-Summer

This is a fun carnival set up by Beth @ I Should be Folding Laundry.



Click the button to see what everyone else "captured"!

This week, SUMMER!
Holy Hell, I was whining about it not feeling like June and wah wah wah. WHAM. Mother Nature, you are a comical genius. We are full out summer mode, 90 degree days, you just walk outside and you break out in a sweat.

Ah Good Times.

So we went...to the BEACH. Nothing says summer like a good beach day.

So here we go Summer is...

Blue skies.
*le-sigh*


Flip-flop tans, painted toes, feet in the sand
(and a lovely mosquito bite)


Sand Castles, teamwork, and sun.

This summer...
I will learn that standing on my own can be quite beautiful.

You Capture-FEEL

This is a fun carnival set up by Beth @ I Should be Folding Laundry.



Click the button to see what everyone else "captured"!



This week's challenge was FEEL.

After a weekend with no kids and all that has transpired since then, I've been doing NOTHING but feeling. Some not so good and some worse than that.

While the kids were away, I went to hike the dunes. To reward myself after my wheezing up and down the sand I went to rest on the beach.

My feelings at the time were empty or alone, yet, I saw this couple sitting along the shoreline and I couldn't help but feel hope and comfort in the way they sat there together.



I almost went up to them to ask permission to intrude on their moment but I felt embarrassed about it, so I shot from afar. Boy I wanted to get closer though, to feed off of their energy, to feel a titch of what they were feeling.

After sitting for a long time on the beach I packed up and headed up town where they were hosting our first cruise night. There was a band and TONS of suped up old cars lining the street.



I love our little town, it's quaint. With lots of things moving away from this central location, it's starting to lose it's charm. Some board members on the chamber of commerce are TRYING to bring back the twinkle and get this area booming again.

It was kinda fun to see all the different cars and how well these cars are maintained.

To see more pictures I took from that day, click HERE.

Baywatch at Cocoa Beach

Waking up the day after Christmas excitement was in the air, for this was the day we drive to the house we rented in Kissimee, FL. We are getting out of the tiny, sticky floor hotel room where we practically slept on top of each other and driving to a three bedroom house, with its own pool. Room to roam, room to hide if necessary. :)

We pack up all of our things from the hotel and head out. Looking at the map I decide that we have plenty of time if we want to take a one hour detour (two in total) over to Cocoa Beach. Kids YELLED "YEAAAAHHH" from the backseat; so we did.

Florida, God love it, has a lack of ALTERNATE routes, seems there are few MAJOR highways to get from point A to B, and for us that was AWESOME. It was very easy to navigate and find our way around.

We live by a beach, so it really wasn't something NEW for the kids, but I couldn't resist sitting on a beach in DECEMBER and we had time to kill before we could check into the house.


It was beautiful, a beautiful day, warm, and December. At. a. beach. Others were there too, in the bikinis soakin up the sun. In. December. I sat for the longest time smiling about that fact. I even called home to brag to my mom about it. She was please. :D

The water, however wasn't so warm...it was freezing.
The kids did not care one bit, said it got warmer once you were frozen numb got use to it.



Pictures at the beach make me feel like I am in Baywatch, with out the HUGE boobs slapping me in the face as I run to save myself from frost bite someone.


Look at Buggy's pigtails, flying in the wind as she runs up beach.


Here is hunky Bubba, saving lives is his job, breaking hearts all over America.



After an hour of the kids playing we walked up and down the beach to collect seashells, the kids really enjoyed that. OUR beach doesn't have seashells, just dead fish on shore and you can only collect so many of those.

We headed out, sandy, sunny warm and a little wet to our rented home.
It. was. NICE! The pool was a little smaller than we anticipated, but it was still NICE to have it all to ourselves.

We did pay extra to have the pool heated and well, that probably was a waste, because the pool felt like BATHWATER, almost WARMER than bathwater. If it had jets it would have ROCKED as a jacuzzi.

The inside of the "house" was really nicely done too, clean and homey in that home in Florida kind of way.


We were all pleased.


Well, other than going to the grocery store later that night, this concludes day after Christmas vacation chronicles. :)

Summary: Beautiful, warm beach, IN DECEMBER equals awesome.
www.villadirect.com rocked out the rental house.