Follow up...

There is a little follow up that I wanted to do on the Christmas Beeracle (as someone so awesomingly put it in the comments....I'm gonna link her....besides her blog is hilarious anyway...so go check out Aunt Juicebox at Bacon is my Lover)

My dad. My father. My sperm donor.

Whatever.

He has been in and out of my life...When he's in it's been due to my effort - not his. This is HUGE that he has made effort, twice in one year, calling after the tornado and the Christmas cards...AND I didn't mention...that he also CALLED ON CHRISTMAS.

Sure I ignored my cell phone when his name came up on the caller id, but when the house phone rang right after the cell phone stopped ringing...I answered.

Don't judge.

The cards, the phone calls...as if they weren't enough to stun me to death...add to it MY BROTHER WAS THERE SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH HIM. That about knocked me off of my stool.

My relationship with my dad is strained, but that is putting it lightly when it comes to my dad and my brother's relationship. Ya know, when your "rowdy" brother steals dad's car, drugs, money, etc...there's a little bit more um, what would you call it...uh TENSION??!?!?!?

Anyway. I've never wanted anything more from my dad than his attention. To know he thinks about us, to know that he's proud of me and how I've turned out, to know that he looks at his grandchildren and misses all of us and the years he's been absent.

While it was NICE getting the phone calls and the cards, when you've grown up with disappointment after disappointment, you learn to not put too much hope on those that have disappointed ya.

Nah, I wish that was true...I still tend to put a lot of hope into those that have disappointed me...and when/if they disappoint me I beat myself up for ONCE AGAIN allowing my expectations to have control over me.

What I'm saying is...I think am able to let it go a little easier now... and even though I hope this isn't the last I've heard from my dad, I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

If this is going to continue maybe eventually I will stop picking up the phone when I see his name and asking, "who died?" or feeling like this might just be the call that informs me of his death.

Drum roll please....*bbbbrrrrrrrr*

The Santa Gourd that I took for the white elephant party...

Ironically this is my 666, post...straight to hell with me...

and for those of you that didn't know what a white elephant party was...here is what wikipedia says...

Gameplay
Gifts are typically inexpensive, humorous items, or used items from home; the term white elephant refers to a gift whose maintenance cost exceeds its usefulness. While the first use of this term remains an item of contention among historians[1], a popular theory suggests that Ezra Cornell brought the term into popular lexicon through his numerous and frequent social gatherings, dating back to as early as 1828.[2][3]

All participants draw a number (from a hat, perhaps) to determine their order. An alternative to the drawing is to sit in a circle and take turns in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction.

The participant with #1 unwraps any gift from the pile and then shows it to everyone. Each successive participant, in the order determined from the drawing, or in clockwise or counterclockwise order, can either 1) "steal" an already opened gift (if there's one they really like) or 2) be adventurous and go for a wrapped gift from the pile. If the participant chooses to steal, the person whose gift is stolen now repeats his turn and either 1) steals another person's gift (he cannot immediately steal back the gift that was just stolen from him) or 2) unwraps a new gift.

This cycle of stealing can sometimes continue for a long time, until a new gift is chosen, at which point the turn is passed to the participant with the next number from the drawing, or whoever is next in the circle, whichever arrangement is chosen.

Since items can be stolen, the item in your possession is not yours until the game is over. However, this is often amended with a rule declaring a gift "dead" or "safe" after it has been stolen a certain number of times (usually three). This helps the process go more smoothly (avoiding, for example, the hypothetical scenario of the same gift being stolen by every successive participant) and limits the disadvantage of being among the first to choose gifts. The game is over once all numbers have been withdrawn from the hat or all gifts are opened.

Let's just say that it was a blast...and my friend that REALLY didn't WANT my Santa gourd did end up with it, but he conveniently left it for the host...a hostess with the mostest gift, if you will. :)

It's a Christmas Miracle...or Hell Froze over.

Let me set the scene...will ya?

Imagine.


A girl, kind of a cute one too, grew up with a divorced mom and twice divorced dad. At the age of five, said cute girl's mom had a breakdown and sent cute girl and rowdy brother to their dad's to live.



Cute girl and rowdy boy, resided with their father for roughly seven years. It was rough. Moving around a lot. Apartments, dad's girlfriends, dad's drinking and drugging. It could have been more rough, nonetheless, seven years went by.



Cute girl's mom, regained custody. I don't know that there was much of a fight, to be honest. Had said cute girl's mom not had a nervous breakdown to begin with, cute girl might not have known much more about her "father" than she does now.

Bygones.

Cute girl went to live with Mom. For the next 23 years, or so, visitation with cute girl's dad were oddly similar to the years she had lived with Dad. Different apartments, different girlfriends, drinking, drugging (him-not cute girl), etc.

Every year, the dad would say a card is in the mail for cute girl's birthday.

No card ever came, remind me to find that postman and beat him for all the cards he stole...he might even be RICH now after collecting all of cute girl's money that I am MOST POSITIVE were stuffed in cards.

It was the same year after year, Christmas, birthday, you name the holiday and that card was in the mail. It was heard so much that cute girl just accepted it as the way it was....never a card, never a call, never a word from the dad.

Then one day, cute girl's town was struck by a tornado. A real live tornado, yo.

It was that tornado that inspired cute girl's dad to actually pick up the phone and call her...after a year of not talking to her or returning her calls.



*jaw drops*

But imagine the shock when cute girl opened her mailbox one night before Christmas. Three cards. Return address, familiar. Christmas cards? From her dad's wife dad? Three of them? Cute girl, stood, staring at the outside of the envelope in disbelief. She reached for the letter opener, slide it into the back of the envelope and opened the card address to her.

A Christmas card? WITH A FRIGGIN GIFT CARD INSIDE???? Stunned, she dropped the card onto the table and chuckled.

This time they WERE in the mail and ACTUALLY MADE it to their final destination.

Take that you bastard postman.

*pig flies over head*

Can this REALLY be wordless???

The mess...and somethin's brewin...




and there you go.

what? you don't see it???

here, let me crop this for ya...zoom it in a little....






It's a Merry Christmas full moon. NICE!
Oh Bubba. *sigh*

Pork in Chicago *oinkalicious*

As I mentioned...I went downtown to Chicago to meet a blogging friend, Le PORKSTAR.





It was cold, rainy/sleety, and windy. Pretty typical, I suppose, for December.



Me in the Bean.

Porky and I walked our happy asses all around and even braved the blustery lakefront walk full of goose poo.

By goose poo, I mean PILES AND PILES of shit.

Disgusting.

He thought it was the true representation of freedom. I think he wanted to drop trow and shit there too.

(To each his own Porkster, TO.EACH.HIS.OWN)



We set our sites on Navy Pier, in the summer, this walk would probably be awesome...not that it wasn't spectacular in December...no, not at all. I love being pelted in the face (WHAT???) with SLEET.



Once inside, Navy Pier did NOT dissappoint. Not only was it warm, but it was decorated to the max. I loved every minute of it.



I snapped these nuggets while Porky was snappin a duece in the restroom.

I begged him to go sit on Santa's lap, he wouldn't. I had to capture some random kids...in their enjoyment instead.

PARTY POOPER PORKY. :P



He was all about deep throating his ice cream cone though...



He could work that cone like no other "straight" guy I've met.

*raises one eyebrow*

Anyway.

We walked around Navy Pier and found THIS GEM...The Winter Wonderland. IN all of it's glory. Behold....



It really was GLORIOUS...I'm not one for a million lights, but here? It just WORKED...I wished at that point that I had the kids with me so they could see too.



Moving on.

Size does matter...


It's "hard" to see me from the steam I created when I straddled that big anchor.

*innocent look*

After Navy Pier we hiked it over to Daley Plaza. I needed to see the new less expensive tree that was put up this year.



I'm all for saving money and well by the looks of this tree I sure hope someone's pocket is fatter.

It really wasn't HORRIBLE, just not nearly as fantastic as it has been in years past.



Once we were good and frozen again we ventured over to Macy's (?) (Marshall Field's?? Whichever) Look at THEIR tree...



Not sure what floor this was from...but this is looking over the edge, which was pretty scary...and made my stomach turn.



It was a long day, lots of walking...but it was a good time. Except the part about having to wait 2 hours for the train home because I can't read a schedule. Yeah, we will just forget about that part. :)

SO Porky? It was great to meet ya, you HORSE'S ASS YOU.



*and this is how I know we're friends, cause we saw this horse's ass at the same time AND both whipped out the cameras to take a picture. *giggle* Only difference is that you got all drooly about how nice and plump that horse's ass was...pervert.

*muah* it was a good time, good time indeed. Thanks for coming to visit. Next time, no CHICAGO IN DECEMBER, mmmk?

The buzz...it's gone....

That high you ride on during the Christmas festivities...it's gone. For this year...for once...I wasn't ready to exit the ride.

Here's a run down of how it went...ready...set...go.

Last Tuesday-cookie day with friends. Good, GOOD times.

Wednesday- We built snowmen, had snowball fight and made snow angels.

Alvin and the Chipmunks movie...my review? I didn't fall asleep and the popcorn was good. (I kid, I kid, the movie was cute, predictable, the kids loved it and that's all that matters.)

Thursday-Christmas Eve, both kiddies were gone by 10 am (Bubba was gone Wed night and Buggy was picked up by 10)...I pulled myself off the couch, out of the depths of whining about being alone for Christmas Eve and wrapped my ass off. I didn't finish til around 4, and at that time I finally showered. I went to visit my Grandparents...*yawn* and went to a friend's house.

Friday-Christmas morning....rough wake up, some tears, and then a nice hot shower to prepare for the kids homecoming. When they got home it was NONSTOP, presents, eating, visiting. It honestly, was a great day!

Saturday-wii

Sunday-more wii.

So far, we love the wii. :) The bickering children due to being tired and maybe just not really liking each other much, was overwhelming, but NOW I do have the wii...for leverage, ya know.

What? Don't judge.

I couldn't wait for the kids to go to bed each night so that *I* could play. :)

Overall, it truly was a great, great holiday. Might even have been the best Christmas Ever!!

I hope yours was as great as mine!

THIS monday rocks cause it's totally MY Friday.

Today is Monday, in case you didn't know.

It's also only four days til Christmas.

You're welcome.

I didn't finish ALL of my shopping this weekend, but I am soooo close.

I went out Friday night to Kohl's and Tarjay to try to finish up the shopping. I spent lots of money and time in each store, but when I left Kohl's I came out to a parking lot covered in snow and big huge flakes. I did a dance in the parking lot with my arms full of shopping bags. It really boosted my spirits and made it feel like Christmas.

I now have in my possession the most important gift of the season; our wii. I can not wait to play. I also got the wii fit plus, *squeal* I am so stoked.

I met a friend in Chicago on Saturday. It was a lovely, rain pellet day, my hair was soaked but not frozen to my face so it wasn't a total fail. My favorite part of the day was Navy Pier. I am so glad we dodged the goose poop caked lake trail to walk over. Once inside, the decorations, the kids in line for Santa and the Winter Wonderland made me giggle like a child. I love that feeling.

Sunday I shopped a little more and then wrapped. I still have to do all of Santa's wrapping but I feel like I have a good start and handle on the stuff I have to do.

Today is my last day to work this week, no fear though, I have funny things for you to see while I'm away. I know you won't be disappointed, unless you come here for good wholesome laughs, then you might be slightly upset to only see sexual innuendos and blogthings.com stuff.

*Innocent look*

Here's to hoping none of you get coal in your stockings!
Have a merry merry Christmas bloggy friends!

Darkness be gone.

Last year I was still muddling through a marriage that left me drained and unhappy. I knew, it was honestly over before it started.

I was going through the motions, and posted as much.

My Christmas angel did NOT work last year, I related it to signs that I just was not lit up inside. My fire, my spark had been extinguished. My lifelessness was represented in that tree last year.

Dark Angel.

So as the kids and I went along putting up the tree this year, I didn't even remember that Dark Angel last year. I hoisted her atop the tree, affixed her dress around the branches and plugged her in.

Let there be light.

She worked. It was later that I remembered that Christmas last year. It was later that I said the signs are all pointing in the right direction and my angel of darkness has light again.


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wordless wednesday...happy holidays

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