Just what the dr ordered.

Saturday night I went out with some friends. It was just what the Dr ordered. Really. We went to see another friend's heavy metal band play...and although I am not a LOVER of heavy metal, there was gratification about being around a large group of people who scream the F word while thrashing their heads back and forth. Liberating to just scream profanities. It just takes my mood and lifts it.

When I was going through my first divorce my favorite CD to listen to was Limp Biskit, Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water . I reveled in the "It's my way or the highway" song...and LOVED the song that said the F word some many times. It was just a great release to blare it my car and scream it at the top of my lungs.

So, back to Saturday night, seeing a heavy band, felt just as gratifying. The screaming from the lead singer sounded very similar to the screaming I have felt inside. The heavy drums matched what my fist have felt like doing for months. The guitar and bass ripping away and letting loose. Something I have wanted to do. Scream, pound my fist and just let go. Letting loose of the rage and anger. And feeling ok for doing so.

Again, Saturday night provided that release, even though I didn't pound my fist, but I did yell...cuss words and not cuss words, and I clapped and I let loose (all from the bar stool that I claimed as my seat all night). It was great.

There was also laughter. I about fell off my bar stool lost it when a group came in from a Halloween party. We were in the presence of RICHARD SIMMONS. If I had my camera, I would have hammed it up with him and we would have been sweatin to the oldies out on the dance floor. What a hoot. It was the laugh that came straight from the bottom of my belly and billowed out of my mouth leaving me breathless and having to pee.

Finally my stomach and head couldn't stand sitting anymore and I need to dance off my million few beers and shots with some movement. Off to the dance club. There is nothing like walking in, very late in the night, already loaded buzzed, going straight to the dance floor and dancing all those calories off. Nothing beats the feeling of moving my body haphazardly around the floor not caring about a thing in the world except for the relief that dancing gives me. If I could have thrashed around I would have, but the floor was PACKED.

It was just what I needed. It was the outlet that I have been needing. It was a great night. I thank my friends that invited me out, I thank my friends for making me laugh, for following me to the dance club and dancing with me and I thank my friends for allowing me to be me.

It was just as the Dr ordered.