This week's topic,
*gulp*
Self Esteem and Sexuality.
(get ready PG-13 rating, I'm 'bout to tear this up.)
That's what he said
*breaks into Salt-n-Pepa song AND moves*
*ahem*
Really self esteem and sexuality go hand in hand.
If you don't feel good about yourself, you will hold back in your sexuality and sadly in your life.
Since accomplishing my goal weight through weight watchers, I have gained SOME of my self esteem about my body back, but that is not to say that I am over those same ugh feelings about how I look.
It's like an anorexic, they don't SEE themselves for what they really look like.
I am by NO means an anorexic, but I have the same issue. I have lost 30 pounds, but still see myself as I once was. There are times that I catch my reflection in the mirror in shock that it's me.
In clothes, I think I look fantastic, but without that outer layering? Not so much. I could sit and pick apart my flaws.
Now that I am entering back into the world of singleness, it is terrifying to know that someone ELSE will be (could be, should be, better fucking be) viewing these same flaws.
The stretchmarks around my belly button that remind me of a mountain range, the love handles that just don't go away no matter how much weight I've lost, the sag of my once perky boobs, the ass that hangs over the legs, it's not a perfect image of sexy.
However, we are our own worse critics and I can almost BET that no man would go over my body with a fine tooth comb to inspect these flaws that I speak of (and if there is such a man, my number is.... kidding, kinda).
I am trying to work on my self esteem in more areas than just my sexuality and as I was told yesterday by Syd, I'm going to fake it til I make it.
(And by make it I mean...never mind).
Sexy is as sexy does and I, my friends, am bringin sexy back, now where is my Justin Timberlake?
Here's your fine tooth comb, Justin.
No really, JT call me. ;)
Tell you what. If I bump into Justin I'll send him your way...;)
ReplyDeleteI am constantly looking in the mirror wondering "who the hell is that?"
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post because it is so true on so many levels. A lot of times we are our own worst critics. Especially if we have been through something bad that hurt our self esteem. One of my friends posted on her FB status this morning that she found a wrinkle and was trying not to freak out. One of our older male friends posted this in response:
ReplyDelete"Now, Leisa, I've been married for 32 years and we went steady for 4 years. Susan says she has wrinkles but I never see them and even when I get a glimspe of one I still don't SEE it. Beauty comes within a person."
I think that is so true. If someone really cares about you (which is what is important) then they don't see those flaws. They only see the beauty you possess. And if they do see the flaws, then that person really doesn't matter anyway.
I couldn't agree more with Jennifer!
ReplyDeletecongrats on losing all that weight. you look wonderful my friend.
ReplyDeleteI use to hate looking at myself in the mirror naked. then one day something happened and I stopped measuring myself against the "media measuring stick" that more or less says that if your not thin your not sexy.
ReplyDeleteNow when I see myself naked I still see the flaws but I don't look as them as flaws. I see them as they are what makes up me. And sexy is so much more than what you see on the outside.
Yeah, I want JT to call me too!
ReplyDeleteJennifer's comment made me get all teary-eyed.
I definitely agree that we are our own worst critics, but at the same time, I realize that when I look at my husband, I see his flaws but they're not even "flaws" to me. They're just who he is. And I love who he is, no matter what.
Now if only we could love ourselves as unquestioningly as we can love others...
It is so hard to stop the comparison game! I used to look better....she looks better then me...those super models are way cute...where is my airbrush!
ReplyDeleteGood news is...Men don't care! Really. Ask some dudes. They really don't mind a little stretch mark, an extra couple of pounds. Honest. A GOOD man..he won't care.
Crazy that as women we are all so much harder on ourselves then we would ever be on someone else.
Go on and embrace your sexy self. :)
Even at my thinnest I wasn't comfortable with my body. You will never catch me walking around naked. I'd shower with clothes on if that was an option. My husband loves me the way I am. (Even though we're both very aware of the extra 10 pounds I'm carrying.) As for being comfortable with someone new? Drink a lot and turn off the lights.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up! It is so true about seeing yourself as you were before. I too have lost almost 40 pounds since LM was born. 40 pounds in 15 months! I should be proud, I should be wanting to run around naked, I should be frolicking around the pool like a teenager but no I can't, I won't. I still feel like I look the same. My beaver tails, muffin flop, and dimpled legs just get in the way. Oh well, let's change our attitude and be fabulous together, lol! (ok, I believe this is my longest comment ever :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know that didn't sound fake and I think you are making it!
ReplyDeleteI get it. Totally, totally get it.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the 30lb loss with Weight Watchers. Tell me how you did it... I'm so needing some advice. I've got the whole WW online thing going on after a few weeks of staying on target I didn't shed an ounce on the scale. And I cried.
:)
I tried to get back into the dating scene after losing 30lbs with WW and freaked out. It's like I had used my weight as some kind of armor to keep myself from entering into any kind of relationship. When I didn't have the armor anymore I felt scared.
ReplyDeleteSign me up for therapy because I know that's about the silliest thing in the world.
Oooh JT can call me anytime too!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean Stac...I've been struggling this week in particular with keeping my motivation and I do think I've been holding back (in general) lately and I'm trying to get out of that funk. Not working is a large part of that I think.
This is universal for all women not matter what they look like. I have been working out like a mad woman (well not really but you know what I mean) and I STILL find flaws....it's ridiculous but what can you do!
ReplyDeleteYou are sexy, rock it sister!
I love this post! So true. I need to go on a diet! BTW I haven't had time lately to read blogs...but rest assured I made sure that I popped by and voted for you everyday!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteIt turned out to be a very complicated topic, didn't it?
Good news! You won the latest Eden Fantasys gift certificate for Girl Talk Thursday!
ReplyDeleteEmail me at mommymelee at gmail dot com.