The stupid shit I do

We were at a birthday party, really sweet little one year old's birthday party.

It was at a local park, before we got there I thought, man, I hope they have decent bathrooms. I KNEW I should have stopped beforehand.

*and now, just a warning, even though the title says SHIT *I* do, it does not mean the shit I take

(this time)

((you're welcome))

(((back to the story)))

My friend asks if I want to walk to the bathroom with her, to which of course I said sure. Girls always go to the bathroom in groups, who was I to leave her to herself?

I use the term bathroom loosely here, it was more a port-a-potty with walls and a door. She yells over from her stall, "DON'T LOOK DOWN!!"

Of course, I did. Dammit.

I unzip, squat and do my business; I hear a very loud peeing noise that was not mine.

I yell over to her (since we're all yelling and stuff) "I hear you peeing!"

She starts laughing so hard, I can barely understand what she is saying, "I don't think that's MEEEEE PEEEEEING"

Now I am laughing so hard I almost fall out of my squat position onto the nasty seat on top of the caverness dungeon of poo and pee. I quickly wipe and move so that I can laugh without fear of touching anything.

I still hear her giggles from the other side, which only makes me laugh harder.

As we are walking out of the women's side, out walks a guy from the other side trying very hard to not make eye contact.

My friend just looks at me and laughs more. "Only you," she says, "that shit only happens to you!"