while the hunter's away

The raccoons will play.



Over the years when I was younger, my step dad would leave for the annual manly hunting trip, and it would never fail...SOMETHING would happen at home that was much better handled by a man.

One year the furnace went out, the day after my step dad left for his 10 day trip.

Another year, a mouse chewed its way through the wall and was taking up residence in the stove. It would poke its head out of the burner area and taunt us.

Most years the season's biggest snowstorm would hit, RIGHT after he would leave.

It was something almost every year. Something that sure, my mom could have taken care of and did, but it would have been a lot simpler to rely on the man of the house to do it. :)

So, this being the second year of my hubby going on this trip...and LUCKILY nothing really major has happened. At least I don't remember if there was anything major last year, I am pretty sure I would have blogged it if it did.

So yesterday afternoon, the dog started going nuts by the front door. Something he rarely does...so the kids and I look out of the front window to see a raccoon, wondering around our front yard in the middle of the day.

That's strange, I commented.

As we watched, I could tell instantly, something wasn't right with this animal.

Rabies, I thought. As a closet over reactor, I mused how the animal was waiting for us to come out so that it could attack. Or it wanted the dog for lunch. I contemplated letting the dog out, but thought Hubby wouldn't be too happy to return to his dog being dead. (I hope you all know I am kidding..besides then that would be TWO animals that I would have to worry about disposal of)

I paced the floor, wondering, what the hell I was suppose to do. As we watched the animal for a long time, I just knew the damn thing was going to die...on my driveway...and I wouldn't be able to get out in the morning without running the damn thing over. Or it would die in my yard and what the hell was I going to do with it THEN?

This, I thought, is the job of a GUY. Not me. I don't know what the heck to do.

I looked up the local Animal Control, called, got their voicemail, left a message and went back to my worrisome 'why me' cry.

We watched and watched, it was like a car wreck. We couldn't stop watching. The darn thing kept wandering around. It got up on its hind legs and fell over, it climbed up the hill and slide back down, it went over the tree and fell to its side again. It started shaking, badly.

This is it, I thought. It is going to die. How am I suppose to eat dinner while this thing is taking its last breaths?

Buggy was writing in her journal about the raccoon, how cute it was, how if she had a raccoon she would name it Rosalina, if it was a girl of course.

Finally it got dark out. We didn't have to watch the poor thing any longer. Though it sure freaked me out not being able to see where the beast was anymore.

It probably has found the garbage cans, I thought, it is going to try to get in there and die. As I am wheeling the garbage to the street it is going to jump out and attack me. GREAT. I will be lying in the ground from a rampant animal attack while the kids are in the house alone, unaware. They will find me. (Aren't I a bit ridiculous?)

I had already started making a list of emergency contacts for Buggy to call in such an emergency.

As I went to sleep that night, I thought of the critter. Secretly hoping it would do its whole death thing in the neighbor's yard so I didn't have to deal with it, hoping that if it did choose my yard to take its last breath that the local fox would come eat him for an early Thanksgiving dinner. I drifted off to sleep, thank goodness NOT dreaming about the darn thing all night.

As we were leaving for school this morning, I made sure we were all securely in the van, doors locked (ya never know) before I opened the garage door.

Slowly I backed out, hoping that there wouldn't be any big bump in our way.

There wasn't.

I scanned the yard and breathed a sigh of relief. No raccoon.

Must be in the garbage cans as I feared. I think I will not put out the garbage this week. We can handle waiting another week for pick up...and by then Hubby will be home to take them out himself. :)

A hunting he will go...

It's that time again.

No, not your normal Holiday hustle and bustle post, though that is in full swing as well.

It is the annual manly hunting trip. A trip that hubby and I decided he wouldn't be attending this year due to the cost of the upcoming Disney trip. Yet weeks before said trip was to begin, he decided he was going anyway.

But whatever.

I am looking forward to not having to deal with him this week. I am looking forward to doing my own thing, kids in tow.

I look forward to answering the phone, IF I WANT TO. I am looking forward to cooking as many healthy meals as I want, not worrying one bit if he is going to like it or not. (not that I really worry about it anyway)

Overall, I am just looking forward to this week, PERIOD. It is a much different feeling than last year. Sure last year I toyed with the ideas of being a single mom, (which, can there be a different name for it than SINGLE mom?) this year, the reality of it is coming to surface.

I am not scared. I am not scared about all the things that will lie solely on my shoulders, because, for the most part, it has felt like the world (my world) has laid there all along.

The only part that remotely intimidates me is the finances, (says one scared mom who just received her first GINORMOUS bill from the lawyer) making it all alone on my salary. Yes there will be child support, but when the preliminary numbers were dispersed, I almost choked. We will definitely have to cut back, reevaluate the things that we (and by we, I mean ME) have deemed "necessary".

Even this challenge though, excites me a little.

I am ready to do this alone, I am ready for the rewards that will come to me. I know there will be a great self confidence to be gained here.

Ok, maybe I am HOPING there will be a great self confidence to be gained. Where there is hope there is um, hope.

Well, this day marks day one (of the rest of my life, hahah, not really) of this year's hunting trip. So far, sooooo GOOD. I have some chores to get done before my work week starts, so I shall move on. I hope you all are having a great weekend.

Check out the previous two posts for some fun give-aways on other blogs. Keep your fingers crossed for me to win ;), that is unless you are playing along too, then of course I hope YOU win (liar, liar).

Tizzy

I am just in a tizzy today. So many reasons, but really it all boils down to me. Grab a coffee and sit back while I just shoot off the reasons I am all up in arms.


Things you SHOULDN'T do because it will send me over the edge.

1) Sell girl scout cookies to your buddies at work and then when they pay you, pocket the money as your OWN spending cash claiming to have saved in ATM fees...and now taking a hit to our personal account (to the tune of $200) to PAY back the girl scout cookie money.

2) Leave for a Nebraska hunting trip, but expect ME to take the kids to see YOUR mom on Thanksgiving even though I have ALREADY told you I am going to St. Louis that day. No I will not stop off, if I am avoiding MY family for the day, I am sure as hell avoiding yours as well.(No offense to the in-laws, I really do like them, but it is the principle)

so I guess that's it.

I am just fed up with SOMEONE doing as they damn well please while the rest of us *cough me cough* have to be responsible financially and "in charge" of keeping family visits in check.

There is another thing that just has me in a tizzy (I don't know why I have chosen "tizzy" as the word of the day, but big kudos to any of you who want to use it today in YOUR post. There is no award, except my undying devotion to commenting on your blog and give BIG UPS to you.)

So, if you remember, we have this whole Disney trip planned for Christmas. It literally has been the works for two years. I have saved my bonus checks for this time to help pay for this extravagant trip. I have tossed and turned about the kid's excitement to be down there on Christmas morning. I have tossed and turned about the kid's lack of excitement when "Santa" doesn't really PROVIDE the number of presents that he normally does.

When this trip was finally booked, there was the unsettling reality that hubby and I were heading down an ugly path. That our future was not for sure or definite. Yet I booked it. A ticket in his name. Merely two months later, I had finally had enough. I made up my mind. Something that had been lingering in my noggin for AT LEAST the past two years.

(right now at this point, this post can go in three different directions so I will try to stay on the original plan...and maybe take the other directions at a later time)

Now that I have made my decision to get out of the marriage and MEAN IT this time, I am left with this "family" vacation that should be dreamy and satisfying yet it isn't REALLY going to be all that.

I don't mean that it ISN'T going to be GREAT for the kids...cause I sure as hell know how to put on a HAPPY FACE for them, hell I have been muddling through that like I said for the past few years.

But, I can't help but think, shit. This is like the last supper. The LAST family vacation with me, hubby and the kids. It doesn't make ME sad, because this is my decision to leave. However, what will it present like to the kids? After it is all said and done, will they view Disney as a land of dreams and fairy tales only to be told a while after that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce?

It's like, hey kids here is a tiny family nugget you can hold onto forever because it will be the last.

Really though, maybe I am just over analyzing. The word ANAL is in the word for a reason..I am anally obsessing about what the end result of the marriage is going to do to the kids. When in actuality, I think it is going to happen much later AFTER the Disney trip so I don't think they will link the two, but I hope that isn't wishful thinking.

UGH. I am going to try to put it all aside and remember the good about this trip and hope that in the end, it doesn't come off as I am overanalyzing it to be.

Alone in chatic city-day one

My life is definitely not sex in the city.

Actually I don't even live in the city. Though things zoom by me as if I am standing in the middle of the expressway. Yeah, something like this with me smack dab in the center...if I could photoshop me in I would.

Today is day one of hubby's ten day long hunting trip. They are headed to the Village of Niobrara for their manly excursions. I don't get the hype and I sure don't buy the hype. ;) A group of 6-8 guys are headed out to a town of 600 or so, to stay in small cabins and hunt. I am sure hubs is going to love it. Actually looking at the site I am mildly interested in visiting there someday. Maybe. In the summer, when hunters aren't running everywhere. I did have to giggle when I looked at the map, where are all the roads? Sure is different from where we are and though it sounds intriguing, I am not booking a vacation there anytime soon. :)

No offense to anyone that lives in these areas because really I can see the attraction, but for me, I like where I am (minus the winter, not my favorite) I like the feeling of being close enough to a city yet far enough away as well to enjoy some of nature.

So anyway, I thought I would be excited for the time away. A break if you will, but actually I am a little scared. Sure is nice having an extra set of hands around though really, how much is he "around". I guess just the idea of knowing he will come home and throw in a load of laundry or start the dishwasher, or help keep the house picked up. Just knowing that I have someone that will come behind us and help out in times that I can't always do it. That is nice. I guess though too, I rely on that help so much that it intimidates me thinking I have to keep it together while he is not around. I know I will do fine. I am woman, here me roar.

I guess to sum it up, Day one of my life as a single mom- my "roar" is more the *meow* of a timid kitty. Check back to see if day two is any stronger.