It was all so surreal. Kinda like when I went into labor with the kids, I stood with amniotic fluid running down my legs (tmi?), in denial that I was ACTUALLY in labor.
STBE = Ex#2 now.
We were getting really annoyed with the lack of progress. We discussed the terms, decided to just friggin agree and get it over with. He told his lawyer, she wrote it up, sent it to my lawyer. My lawyer called me, had me run in and sign and THEN GET THIS...
SHE HAD ME RUN THEM TO THE COURTHOUSE MYSELF.
I know, take a minute, let that sink in.
I'll wait.
*taps fingers on desk*
Here's why, it'd save me money and guarantee they were taken/stamped in a timely manner...cause the over $3000 she already sucked out of me was her limit apparently on sucking.
*ahem*
Ex#2 decides he wants to go along for this joy ride, so I used the time to
*stands back up from being bent over and abused*
Nonetheless, we trudged up the five flights to the judge's office, where the assistant (secretary?) rifled through the papers, got out her nifty judge's stamp and declared us DIVORCED.
Just like that.
Judge not necessary, just her signature stamp.
Ex#2 looked at me, looked at the assistant and said, "that's it?" he turns to me, "Can't change your mind now."
Without laughing in his face, cause I'm not THAT bitchy, I said, "Sorry, I'm not going to change my mind."
Really, it is sad. But I KNOW it's the best decision for me and the kids. I've been trying to make this decision for years...and now it's done. All that agonizing, all that drama, all the tears, the hurt, and some of the good times...with one judges' stamp they are over in theory.
I am not proud of decisions I made during this marriage or before it, but I am proud of myself for finally making the decision to get out.
It's been several years (7. wow.) since my divorce, but we went through the same thing with the judges stamp and the excess of money spent to get it.
ReplyDeleteCongrats!
:-)
I can't believe you could just get a stamp and be done. My sister had to appear in front of the judge twice and go through classes adn stuff.
ReplyDeleteYeah for you! Live and Learn, right?
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand. It's a weird feeling - especially when it's been "coming" for so long. I'm glad you're done, glad you're out - and hope this is the beginning of beautiful things to come.
ReplyDeleteI'd send champagne - but I'm broke. So pretend. Yeah, I'm generous like that. xx
A stamp? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WOW
ReplyDeleteWife #2 and I are 32 years into it - I think we might make it. But having been there and done that, with #1, all I can say is, the less painful one can make the process, the better for all concerned. Because when the process is long and drawn out, the ones who truly suffer for it are the kids. First and always - the kids. I hope you and yours are doing okay - I know what the adjustment is like, as well. For everybody.
ReplyDeleteyour strength is amazing, I am glad this whole mess is over and done with and now LIFE begins!!!
ReplyDeleteonly good times ahead!
Congrats, have a party!
Congratulations!! Time to get yourself some new meat!! Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Enjoy your new house and your new life. Did you figure out what to call STBE Now? Is it gonna be Ex2 or something more exotic? I, myself, am fond of HENMH (Happy he's not my husband) or something like that.
ReplyDeleteI can't identify because I am still married to Hubby #1. 25 years and counting - so much for a rebound relationship that they said wouldn't work! However, I was lucky that I didn't marry the guy that I was rebounding from. He probably would have been Ex#1. :) Anyway, don't give up. There are still a few good ones out there.
Now you go out and celebrate the beginning of a new and amazing chapter in your life, you hear?
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and so proud of you, this took enormous courage!
HAHA! THe comic was the perfect ending to that post!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and may the next chapter of your life be filled with more fun and laughter.
ReplyDelete"Can't change your mind now."
ReplyDeleteWithout laughing in his face, cause I'm not THAT bitchy, I said, "Sorry, I'm not going to change my mind."..I had a bit of flashback there....
If it only requires a damn stamp why is it so expensive? I must say good for you. I can't wait for mine either.
you ARE better than me!
ReplyDeleteI would have laughed in his face...or more.
Congratulations! It's amazing that one little piece of rubber & an ink pad could change your life.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) Here's to better things ahead.
I saw the title to this post and the picture in my reader and I busted out laughing. I guess that isn't entirely appropriate.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it is over for you, or just beginning. I guess you have to choose how you want to look at it.
I'm glad that you are moving ahead with your life. It is a new chapter.
ReplyDeleteHOORAY for you and thanks for the award!
ReplyDeletePop the cork and celebrate tonight. Woo Hoo!
Sorry but I totally laughed at that. Not AT you, but WITH you just cause you put things in such a fun way. Sucks about the divorce. Been there. So glad you are happy now. Making the decision to leave a shitty marriage is never and easy one but it is such a relief when done. *deep breath* :) Glad for you for sticking up for yourself!
ReplyDeleteWow, I had no idea it was so simple in some places. Congratulations again.
ReplyDeleteSo as of today, you are a 2-day-old single. So young and lovely. Did you know as a single person you get to pack your bags and go somewhere without having to obtain a permission first or feel guilty? Someone told me that long time ago. Try it.
ReplyDeleteCarl...hahaha...um, yeah, there's a thing such as MOM guilt, damn kids...
ReplyDeleteSP...it CAN be. it can be that simple if the parties agree.
Big Mama Cass-I'm laughin with me...too. really.
Lily...I will celebrate...once we move into the house, I am planning to celebrate all night long. ;)
Syd...I am looking forward to the peace.
Jennifer...right? The big O is what I'd like, but the big D is almost as exciting.
Bev..rubbers are VERY important on so many levels. Gloveit.
Stacy...it's hard to laugh in his face when he's shedding tears...I'm not completely heartless...not to his face anyway.
Blondie...that's what I'm sayin.
Peach Tart...thank you.
Jennifer Leigh...I know, right? I'd never send him to read here though. ;)
Kami...I will and I will tell you all about it...maybe even photograph the event. ;)
MW Mommy...I do have to attend a parenting class...but never ONCE saw a judge.
Evansmom-wow, i'm impressed, ex#2 IS a rebound as well...*shameful* glad it worked out for you.
ReplyDeleteOrgie...thanks, I'll just stick with the Meat "bag" for now.
Cheryl..."strength" eh. Thank you.
Lceel...I'm sure that some can go 32 years (you're proof) I can't seem to get pass 3.
Courtney...my SUCKER stamp on my forehead was NOT much cheaper.
One Creative Queen *cheers* with our imaginary champagne.
Vicki...hahahahah...seeing as this is divorce #2, I hope to all that is holy that live and learn is what I've done this time. (see comment to Courtney and sucker stamp on forehead)
f8hasit...love the blog name.
When I first filed I took the paperwork to the courthouse myself, all naive and starry eyed, thinking it would be over in 60 days. Live & learn.
ReplyDeleteI had to take a class, go to a mediator about a parenting plan, and off the top of my head can think of 4 times we went before the judge. All that and I didn't know I was divorced until days afterwards when my copy of the decree arrived in the mail. For $12,000 my lawyer really should have sent flowers.
Yeah! It's done! Lawyers do suck - especially divorce ones. My sister and her husband were trying to fight their way through a divorce for over a year (he was being difficult) and she was just notified that he withdrew his petition for divorce and now she's STUCK staying married to this jerk!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Now please go bed a hot young gymnast/gardener/whatever so you can tell me about it.
ReplyDeleteIt's so unfortunate that we can't think with our heads in these initial moments so that we can avoid all that hassle and expense. You at least realized that this was all going nowhere and ended it quickly. Some folks don't do that for years! Congrats on getting it over with finally. Whew! On with the rest of your life!
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if I should say congrats, but I will say I hope you have a happy life and cheers to new beginnings!
ReplyDeleteGood for you...I know...with all the crap that goes along with it...you think there would be more pomp and circumstance....
ReplyDeletesheesh. what an uneventful end to a long drawn out situation. Pick up the pieces and keep moving, always with your head up :)
ReplyDeletehappy for you!!! hopefully he won't treat the kids badly. Now is your new beginning,...start living.
ReplyDeleteI did my divorce nearly all by myself. No lawyers...cheap, but a LOT of foot work. I started it 16 years ago. It got to a point of doneness, all except the final splat of the judges stamp.
ReplyDeleteMy ex's girlfriend actually finally took the paper work and had it finalized. In the hopes that she ws to be the next Mrs. Um nope, that was not to be. At least I am free of him. (He has since had about 16 girlfriends...I could not be replaced!)
Who knew it was a stamp that made it all official. Congrats to you...for making a hard decision and still feeling like it was best. I hope your life has only good things ahead.
ReplyDeleteIt might confuse some readers since I have been calling my second ex ex#2 as well. Of course they may have been the same guy. You and I must get together and start our search for fex#3 (future exhusband #3).
ReplyDeleteI got a stamp too but we had to stand in front of a judge and be sworn in, not unlike our wedding now that I think about it, though it cost a whole lot more. I think both of us spent over $5000 each which is nothing compared to my brother's divorce which both parties spent over $25,000 of course that's what happens when you leave your wife for her best friend and your wife's family has lots of money to waste on lawyers and they are pissed off at you for leaving their daughter in such a slimy way.
Hard to believe all that hard work ..all your stress, ends with a stamp.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on moving on!
Divorce: One of the best things I did for myself. And my daughter.
ReplyDeleteCongrats! Here's to new beginnings!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Wait, is that right to say? :)
ReplyDeletei have to say that that last cartoon is hilarious... and SO true! funny.
ReplyDeletei know you are ready for your new beginning. wishing the best for you my friend!
Good for you! Glad that is done and over with for you and you no longer have to stess about it. :)
ReplyDelete