So, of course, I get lots of texts that say "love u" in some form or another. My friends and I tell each other all the time. If tomorrow was the last day on Earth (or Oct whatever the date is for the new end of the world is) I want my friends to know that I love them.
However, getting a text from your ex-husband that says "Love u." is quite comical.
Over a year ago I would have been pissed at a text like that from him. Over a year ago, he was still calling me and causing grief. Over a year ago I would have responded back with "F-off".
I know he's over me. I know he's with someone who really seems to love him. I know he's with someone that loves the kids as much as we do.
I can comfortably say that I know I did him a favor divorcing him.
There is someone out there for everyone, I was just not for him, or more, he was NOT for me.
I've been O.K with that...finally I think he is too. It works.
So Friday night after Bubba's game the kids were really wanting to go have dinner with him. I'm usually pretty flexible (twhs...well not ex, but you know what I mean) with allowing this, however this particular night we had dinner plans.
The kids whined, he looked at me waiting for me to break their hearts. Finally I broke and invited them to my step-dad's birthday party with us.
I walked straight into the kitchen and let everyone know that even though I'd given them hell in the past about inviting him to family functions I had invited him, his girlfriend and her two kids to the party. I explained that in no way does that mean that I want this to be a normal every party thing, but I felt backed into a corner and again was trying to keep the peace.
Of course they all welcomed him and his new family and it all went well. I stayed in the house, they stayed outside for the most part. It is good to know that we can co-mingle without major issues and in the long run, it will be best for the kids.
Right? Right. Meh.
Showing posts with label ex#2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ex#2. Show all posts
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Loooser.
*stares at blank page*
*curser blinks in rhythm to Loser*
I have things to say.
I do. I really do.
Now I have that song stuck in my head. *taps foot*
I hate how DIFFERENT my kids are around Ex#2. He's bought them clothes for his house and only his house. They are walking Old Navy ads.
Not that there is anything wrong with Old Navy.
I like Old Navy. It just rubs me raw because of how materialistic he has always been.
Before we were married, he'd wear a fake wedding ring. Just cause he liked to "look" married. While I was pregnant with Bubba he would say, "My kid won't wear Walmart clothes." When we bought our house he complained it wasn't "showy enough, not big enough, not fancy enough". Every few years he'd tire of his car and want something bigger and better. It's daunting to "keep up with the Jones' in his head".
I find myself fighting to teach the kids that material things do not equal love, material things do not define you as a good person, etc. That's hard with a 10 year old and an almost 7 year old.
Wearing name brand clothes, fake wedding rings, and driving fancy cars does NOT make you who you are, it's a fake way to present yourself to the world. Make them THINK you're all that, but after a few times being around that, you find who they really are and that is where the true person emerges.
One day, I hope my children see that, know that and aspire to be better than the labels they wear, the fakeness that others present and better than what kind of car they drive.
*curser blinks in rhythm to Loser*
I have things to say.
I do. I really do.
Now I have that song stuck in my head. *taps foot*
I hate how DIFFERENT my kids are around Ex#2. He's bought them clothes for his house and only his house. They are walking Old Navy ads.
Not that there is anything wrong with Old Navy.
I like Old Navy. It just rubs me raw because of how materialistic he has always been.
Before we were married, he'd wear a fake wedding ring. Just cause he liked to "look" married. While I was pregnant with Bubba he would say, "My kid won't wear Walmart clothes." When we bought our house he complained it wasn't "showy enough, not big enough, not fancy enough". Every few years he'd tire of his car and want something bigger and better. It's daunting to "keep up with the Jones' in his head".
I find myself fighting to teach the kids that material things do not equal love, material things do not define you as a good person, etc. That's hard with a 10 year old and an almost 7 year old.
Wearing name brand clothes, fake wedding rings, and driving fancy cars does NOT make you who you are, it's a fake way to present yourself to the world. Make them THINK you're all that, but after a few times being around that, you find who they really are and that is where the true person emerges.
One day, I hope my children see that, know that and aspire to be better than the labels they wear, the fakeness that others present and better than what kind of car they drive.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Not All ...
Yesterday's post is in no way ME generalizing or stereotyping ALL MEN.
Sure the man who "fathered" me is an ass and the man that "fathered" my son is a major ass, but there are good men out there.
(Ironically or not so ironically, they are both alcoholics...common theme, I seem to think so...and maybe THAT is a bitter resentful generalization and stereotype that I am spewing. See shoe fit.)
I am lucky to be involved with one, Mr.F. My daughter is lucky to have one that she calls Daddy. I am lucky to have a step dad has willing stepped up to partake in my life as a Father figure.
There are men out there that are GREAT fathers and Dad's and to them I say, hey...HAPPY LATE FATHER'S DAY.
I know it's an uphill battle for those men to get the recognition they deserve and they should be acknowledge as IMPORTANT parts of their family dynamics.
Just as there are jerky men out there that don't step up to the parenting plate, there are craptastic Moms too.
So, just wanted to put that out there so you all know that I do know that there are good men out there, there are Dad's who care and WANT to be a part of their child's life. Unfortunately, two men in my life are missing out on their opportunities to have that chance.
Sure the man who "fathered" me is an ass and the man that "fathered" my son is a major ass, but there are good men out there.
(Ironically or not so ironically, they are both alcoholics...common theme, I seem to think so...and maybe THAT is a bitter resentful generalization and stereotype that I am spewing. See shoe fit.)
I am lucky to be involved with one, Mr.F. My daughter is lucky to have one that she calls Daddy. I am lucky to have a step dad has willing stepped up to partake in my life as a Father figure.
There are men out there that are GREAT fathers and Dad's and to them I say, hey...HAPPY LATE FATHER'S DAY.
I know it's an uphill battle for those men to get the recognition they deserve and they should be acknowledge as IMPORTANT parts of their family dynamics.
Just as there are jerky men out there that don't step up to the parenting plate, there are craptastic Moms too.
So, just wanted to put that out there so you all know that I do know that there are good men out there, there are Dad's who care and WANT to be a part of their child's life. Unfortunately, two men in my life are missing out on their opportunities to have that chance.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
*Ding Ding* Wrestling Bell Rings
These are things that Captain Cancel says to Bubba.
Tell your mom she needs to cut your fingernails.
Tell your mom she needs to clean out your ears more often.
Tell your mom she needs to make sure you brush your teeth before bed.
Tell you mom she should take you to Grampie's to get in the basement.
(Said over the phone last night DURING THE STORM)
Bubba says to me.
Dad says you need to cut my fingernails.
Dad says you need to clean out my ears.
Dad says you need to make sure I brush my teeth before bed.
Daddy says to take me to Grampie's to get in the basement.
What I say to Bubba.
Does Daddy not have clippers? *gets clippers and cut his nails*
Does Daddy not have Q-tips? *gets out q-tips and cleans his ears*
Bubba, how about YOU make sure YOU brush your teeth before bed.
TELL DADDY I AM NOT DRIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM.
*mumbled profanities*
What I'd like to say to Captain Cancel.
F-you pal.
Suck it.
Go F yourself.
How about you spend some time with your son.
How about you spend some time with your son. (That needs to be said more than once)
How about you show up when your son has his counseling appointment.
How about you get your son to and from all of his baseball practices/games.
How about YOU explain to your son why his sister has a kick ass Dad and why he doesn't.
How about you F off. (Oh is that a repeat again?)
How about I tell you about all the times I have to defend your stupid, ignorant, drunk ass to your son because you SUCK but I would NEVER tell him what a jack off you are...but you keep going on and putting little digs in his ear about me, mmmk. Thanks. Appreciate your effort.
I'd like to body slam him to the ground all WWF style.
Mmmmm Whatcha gonna do brotha?
Ya feel me?
I hope that one day, Bubba will stand up and say...
"HEY, my mom may not clean out my ears after each bath, which you think isn't often enough, or cut my nails until they are in dire need, or MAKE me brush my teeth before bed, but at least she's AROUND. Where are you? Oh, do I "fit" in your schedule TODAY dad? Great."
I guess when you have to search for things that I slack on these are as good as they get.
*hands over mother of the year award.....again*
*rolls eyes*
Assmunch.
Tell your mom she needs to cut your fingernails.
Tell your mom she needs to clean out your ears more often.
Tell your mom she needs to make sure you brush your teeth before bed.
Tell you mom she should take you to Grampie's to get in the basement.
(Said over the phone last night DURING THE STORM)
Bubba says to me.
Dad says you need to cut my fingernails.
Dad says you need to clean out my ears.
Dad says you need to make sure I brush my teeth before bed.
Daddy says to take me to Grampie's to get in the basement.
What I say to Bubba.
Does Daddy not have clippers? *gets clippers and cut his nails*
Does Daddy not have Q-tips? *gets out q-tips and cleans his ears*
Bubba, how about YOU make sure YOU brush your teeth before bed.
TELL DADDY I AM NOT DRIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM.
*mumbled profanities*
What I'd like to say to Captain Cancel.
F-you pal.
Suck it.
Go F yourself.
How about you spend some time with your son.
How about you spend some time with your son. (That needs to be said more than once)
How about you show up when your son has his counseling appointment.
How about you get your son to and from all of his baseball practices/games.
How about YOU explain to your son why his sister has a kick ass Dad and why he doesn't.
How about you F off. (Oh is that a repeat again?)
How about I tell you about all the times I have to defend your stupid, ignorant, drunk ass to your son because you SUCK but I would NEVER tell him what a jack off you are...but you keep going on and putting little digs in his ear about me, mmmk. Thanks. Appreciate your effort.
I'd like to body slam him to the ground all WWF style.
Mmmmm Whatcha gonna do brotha?
Ya feel me?
I hope that one day, Bubba will stand up and say...
"HEY, my mom may not clean out my ears after each bath, which you think isn't often enough, or cut my nails until they are in dire need, or MAKE me brush my teeth before bed, but at least she's AROUND. Where are you? Oh, do I "fit" in your schedule TODAY dad? Great."
I guess when you have to search for things that I slack on these are as good as they get.
*hands over mother of the year award.....again*
*rolls eyes*
Assmunch.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Random for Tuesday
Capt'n Cancel strikes again.
This past weekend was HIS weekend, just as he has on other weekends lately, he had to work.
"What are you plans? Do you have plans?" He asked.
"My plans are that I have Bubba." I respond.
Cause that's how it's gone lately. I haven't made any major plans that didn't involve the kids, because he's such at cancel creep.
He did have Bubba on Sunday, after showing up an hour late. He picked Bubba up, went to lunch with him, was suppose to take him fishing (not sure if this really happened or not) and then promptly dropped Bubba off at his brothers so that he could go out to dinner with a high school friend.
I am sure Bubba DID want to spend the night with his cousins, but what I am even MORE sure of is that Captain Cancel took that as a golden opportunity to go out with his favorite people, himself and Coor's Light.
What an ass.
****
I've noticed a slight change in Bubba's attitude at home for the better.
I hope my crack down on him has had a positive affect on him. I hope! I hope! I hope!
I know that if I don't remain consistent then it was all for naught.
He has a counseling appointment on Friday.
(Don't forget my awesome nomination for parenting blog...cause my parenting skills rock...ahahahaha.)
****
My yard is pretty much cleaned up from that latest storm that blazed through.
We did chop up some of the tree in the neighbors yard and made sure that the tree from "my yard" was removed from their yard.
We would have done more to help them out had they not sat their asses in their house all weekend, even at one point they stood on their back step and WATCHED us cleaning up.
Kinda ruined our good deed mood, ya know?
As my insurance adjuster said, it's their problem let THEM worry about their fence and yard.
Jacktards.
****
Buggy's dad, the total opposite of Captain Cancel, after having his child support re-evaluated last year realized that he is allowed to have Buggy for one half of the summer.
Therefore he'd like to take that privilege up...NOW.
It's his right and I want to do what's best for Buggy, but IT SURE SUCKS. I don't want to share her THAT much. :)
Can't please me, one Dad that never takes his kid and one Dad that takes his kid too much. Neither situation makes me happy. ;)
Well, after mapping it out on a calendar, we are going to try our first split summer visitation. If it doesn't work out we can revisit and come up with a different plan for next time.
****
Bubba said to me last night, "Why can't I spend the summer with my Dad?"
*raises fist in air*
****
I have the worse case of cramps and PMS today, so this really could qualify for a F-U Tuesday or a Totally Ticked off Tuesday...or a you better stay the fuck out of my way today...or yeah...you get my drift right?
*puffs up chest- lunges toward you intimidatingly*
****
Hopefully tomorrow is a better day...if not, it will be a wordless Wednesday for your sake and mine.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Random Madness
Crap. Where has the day gone?
I'm going random today.
-I've had terrible tummy troubles since Sunday night. It seems to be worse right after I eat. Sucks.
-I can blog freely here about my bowel movements and the affects of my fiber one bars, but when talking to Mr.F I can not discuss freely with him. I'd like him to think I'm a princess that doesn't fart or "drop the kids at the pool"....except he reads this blog. DAMMIT.
*waves hi to Mr.FF*
-I'm still on this topic, not sure why I keep bullet pointing it....but this tummy ache isn't even producing any gas or kid droppin....so really Mr.F that is NOT why I had to go home so quickly last night...
-Moving on...
-I am going to my first White Sox game of the season this weekend! WOOT. Remember this one time last year? That's right BISHES it's on...again. MW Mommy and MW Daddy have graciously agreed to join me...YEEEHHHHAAAWWWW.
-Sunday is Mother's Day...and let me just say if the Ex, Capt'n Cancel, is invited to THIS friggin holiday, I might just go PMS PSYCHO on someone...anyone.
-Speaking of PMS Psycho...you have to read Bev today. Good stuff. Not that I can relate...no. Not me.
*Smiles*
-I really could kick myself in the taco, I saw Capt'n Cancel's facebook page last night...OH MMM GEEEE...seriously. Here's the thing I had to keep saying (after the cuss words flew out of my mouth) to myself. He is the same person he's been, no matter the drastic good and bad things I tried during our marriage to change him, he's never going to change. At least I don't have to be married to him...and thank goodness I'm not anymore.
-I booked a professional photo shoot for the kids and I. I am totally excited for it. It's not until the end of July, but I'm already thinking about what we will wear.
-Today feels like Friday. FML, it's only Thursday.
-Heard this song today, I love it...so sharing is caring my lovelies.
Ok, I'm outie.
I'm going random today.
-I've had terrible tummy troubles since Sunday night. It seems to be worse right after I eat. Sucks.
-I can blog freely here about my bowel movements and the affects of my fiber one bars, but when talking to Mr.F I can not discuss freely with him. I'd like him to think I'm a princess that doesn't fart or "drop the kids at the pool"....except he reads this blog. DAMMIT.
*waves hi to Mr.FF*
-I'm still on this topic, not sure why I keep bullet pointing it....but this tummy ache isn't even producing any gas or kid droppin....so really Mr.F that is NOT why I had to go home so quickly last night...
-Moving on...
-I am going to my first White Sox game of the season this weekend! WOOT. Remember this one time last year? That's right BISHES it's on...again. MW Mommy and MW Daddy have graciously agreed to join me...YEEEHHHHAAAWWWW.
-Sunday is Mother's Day...and let me just say if the Ex, Capt'n Cancel, is invited to THIS friggin holiday, I might just go PMS PSYCHO on someone...anyone.
-Speaking of PMS Psycho...you have to read Bev today. Good stuff. Not that I can relate...no. Not me.
*Smiles*
-I really could kick myself in the taco, I saw Capt'n Cancel's facebook page last night...OH MMM GEEEE...seriously. Here's the thing I had to keep saying (after the cuss words flew out of my mouth) to myself. He is the same person he's been, no matter the drastic good and bad things I tried during our marriage to change him, he's never going to change. At least I don't have to be married to him...and thank goodness I'm not anymore.
-I booked a professional photo shoot for the kids and I. I am totally excited for it. It's not until the end of July, but I'm already thinking about what we will wear.
-Today feels like Friday. FML, it's only Thursday.
-Heard this song today, I love it...so sharing is caring my lovelies.
Ok, I'm outie.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Trippin
Down memory lane, yo. I don't do drugs. Unless Mr.FF is a drug, then I'd do him.
oh whoa...moving on.
ONE YEAR AGO.
It was one year ago that I was squealing on this here blog. So excited, so ready to move on, SO READY to have that hangnail, so lovingly renamed by Vicki as a HEMORRHOID. Ex#2 (Capt'n Cancel) removing himself from the family home.
Don't know what I'm talking about?
Here, here is the link.
My Pig Squeals heard around the bloggyland.
Even crazier...is the post a year before that...I'm surprised to remember we were separated at that point in time as well...hmmm.
Oh the time. Oh the pain. Oh the disappointment. Oh the shoulda/couldas that went through my head on a daily basis.
I went through the motions, the counseling, the struggles, but it was just that...motions...knowing the whole time how it was going to end. It was so difficult for me to stand up for what I knew to be true and what I felt best for all parties involved....BUT I DID. FINALLY.
I am not proud of any part of that short marriage and I am even embarrassed for the decisions I made before and during it. There aren't many regrets that I have in my life, marrying that man is one regret.
Like my Mom says, though, at least I didn't waste 25 years of my life.
True dat Momma. TRUE DAT.
Sometimes, when I feel whiney about my life I just have to look back at how it use to be and let me tell you...those reminders are all I need to know that where I am RIGHT NOW...is exactly where I'm suppose to be. The hope and dream that there was more out there for me, wasn't just a dream...IT'S HERE...AND I'M LIVING IT.
oh whoa...moving on.
ONE YEAR AGO.
It was one year ago that I was squealing on this here blog. So excited, so ready to move on, SO READY to have that hangnail, so lovingly renamed by Vicki as a HEMORRHOID. Ex#2 (Capt'n Cancel) removing himself from the family home.
Don't know what I'm talking about?
Here, here is the link.
My Pig Squeals heard around the bloggyland.
Even crazier...is the post a year before that...I'm surprised to remember we were separated at that point in time as well...hmmm.
Oh the time. Oh the pain. Oh the disappointment. Oh the shoulda/couldas that went through my head on a daily basis.
I went through the motions, the counseling, the struggles, but it was just that...motions...knowing the whole time how it was going to end. It was so difficult for me to stand up for what I knew to be true and what I felt best for all parties involved....BUT I DID. FINALLY.
I am not proud of any part of that short marriage and I am even embarrassed for the decisions I made before and during it. There aren't many regrets that I have in my life, marrying that man is one regret.
Like my Mom says, though, at least I didn't waste 25 years of my life.
True dat Momma. TRUE DAT.
Sometimes, when I feel whiney about my life I just have to look back at how it use to be and let me tell you...those reminders are all I need to know that where I am RIGHT NOW...is exactly where I'm suppose to be. The hope and dream that there was more out there for me, wasn't just a dream...IT'S HERE...AND I'M LIVING IT.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
You are a hangnail
I don't bite my nails, but I do bite the skin around my nails.
Right now I have so many hangnails (why are they called that? It's not nail that's hangin.) I bite to get rid of the extra skin, but then they get snagged and more skin is hangin. I bite more, they bleed, they sting, but they still hang around causing me constant annoyance.
YOU. (No not YOU Internet readers)
You are the hangnail of my life. It took me several years to finally "bite" you out of my life, divorce you yet you keep getting snagged causing me more annoyance. I can't get rid of you.
I knew I'd never be able to clip you out completely seeing as we have a child together, but I never imagined that even though I clipped you you'd manage to snag yourself back in and that others would feel bad enough for you to let it happen.
It doesn't matter how many times I bite, no matter how many times I clip your existence to a minimum, there you are still hangin around.
Easter morning I called my stepdad to wish him a Hoppy Easter and to let him know that we would be at Easter brunch with the family. Hesitantly he says, "I invited Capt'n Cancel to brunch. I felt bad for him because he didn't have anywhere to go and didn't know if he was going to see the kids. I hope this is OK."
Damn hangnail, I thought I bit this off already.
Back in June, before the divorce was final I had a discussion with my Aunt. She had invited Capt'n Cancel to my cousin's graduation. I explained how uncomfortable I was with him being there, she apologized and said she really didn't mean to upset me.
*hangnail clipped*
At Thanksgiving, my Uncle let it be known that HE invited Capt'n Cancel to Christmas at their house. In shock I looked at my Aunt who knew my feelings and said, "why does this keep happening?"
*hangnail bitten off*
*Cue sad violins*
Poor Capt'n Cancel.
So good at making others feel so sorry for him, so easily manipulating others to get what he wants.
When? When will MY voice be heard? When? When will this family take my clippers and clip this sad sack of a useless man out of OUR family functions?
When? Oh WHEN will this hangnail be clipped and healed for good?
How many times will I have to say to the only family that I've been close to for the last 20 years of my life ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
So there we sat, MY FAMILY, me and him at Easter Brunch. I just can't bite off that hangnail and let it heal. It's constantly being snagged and reoccurring.
Right now I have so many hangnails (why are they called that? It's not nail that's hangin.) I bite to get rid of the extra skin, but then they get snagged and more skin is hangin. I bite more, they bleed, they sting, but they still hang around causing me constant annoyance.
YOU. (No not YOU Internet readers)
You are the hangnail of my life. It took me several years to finally "bite" you out of my life, divorce you yet you keep getting snagged causing me more annoyance. I can't get rid of you.
I knew I'd never be able to clip you out completely seeing as we have a child together, but I never imagined that even though I clipped you you'd manage to snag yourself back in and that others would feel bad enough for you to let it happen.
It doesn't matter how many times I bite, no matter how many times I clip your existence to a minimum, there you are still hangin around.
Easter morning I called my stepdad to wish him a Hoppy Easter and to let him know that we would be at Easter brunch with the family. Hesitantly he says, "I invited Capt'n Cancel to brunch. I felt bad for him because he didn't have anywhere to go and didn't know if he was going to see the kids. I hope this is OK."
Damn hangnail, I thought I bit this off already.
Back in June, before the divorce was final I had a discussion with my Aunt. She had invited Capt'n Cancel to my cousin's graduation. I explained how uncomfortable I was with him being there, she apologized and said she really didn't mean to upset me.
*hangnail clipped*
At Thanksgiving, my Uncle let it be known that HE invited Capt'n Cancel to Christmas at their house. In shock I looked at my Aunt who knew my feelings and said, "why does this keep happening?"
*hangnail bitten off*
*Cue sad violins*
Poor Capt'n Cancel.
So good at making others feel so sorry for him, so easily manipulating others to get what he wants.
When? When will MY voice be heard? When? When will this family take my clippers and clip this sad sack of a useless man out of OUR family functions?
When? Oh WHEN will this hangnail be clipped and healed for good?
How many times will I have to say to the only family that I've been close to for the last 20 years of my life ENOUGH is ENOUGH?
So there we sat, MY FAMILY, me and him at Easter Brunch. I just can't bite off that hangnail and let it heal. It's constantly being snagged and reoccurring.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Did I tell you?
Did I tell you?
My Mom is here.
*mom's home jig*
She arrived last night and she is sitting at my house right now. Waiting for Bubba and I to get home.
Did I tell you?
Yesterday was the most stress filled day I've had so far this year...at least work wise.
I tend to cause undue stress on myself in other areas on a regular basis.
*cheesy grin*
In the midst of having a crappy workday, Buggy's school called to tell me she had a sore throat and fever.
I quickly called her Dad to see if he could pick her up. This is just not the season for me to miss work.
Kudos to Buggy's dad, not only did he pick her up, but he arranged to keep her overnight and today until he went to work.
*does thank you for being "active" in your daughter's life praises*
Did I tell you?
A new nickname has been created for Ex#2?
Funny all kinds of blog nicknames come to mind for that...that....person. Yet I can't for the life of me come up with one for my "friend". ANYWAY...
*drum roll*
Captain Cancel. That's Ex#2's nickname.
*insert explicits here* Captain Cancel.
Captain Cancel and SuperMom (that's me, in case you're confused. *ahem*) are gonna battle it out in the superworld.
*adjusts cape*
He CONTINUALLY tells the children what he MIGHT do, or MAYBE do, or TRY to do. Let's just say, he only REALLY does what he says he might, maybe or tries to do about 10% of the time. I might be giving him a slightly better percentage than truth.
Problem, one of many, with his word is I KNOW IT'S NO GOOD. The kids on the other hand, are finding that out, the hard way. SuperMom no likey. SuperMom also no likey the aftermath that ensues with Captain Cancel plays his cancellation game.
Found a quote other day, Jesse Jackson (of whom, i am not a super fan, however, do like this quote. One up to Jesse, pump up the fruit *pumps fist on chest*) "your children need your presence more than your presents."
Let me just add that even a "classy" Jesse would throw in a mofo at the end when speaking in reference to CaptainJackass Cancel.
SuperMom is nothing if not classy, so Captain Cancel here's to you:
"Your children need your PRESENCE more than your PRESENTS (quote, unquote) MOFO.
*flips the Captain a super bird*
Did I tell you?
I am glad today is Thursday.
My Mom is here.
*mom's home jig*
She arrived last night and she is sitting at my house right now. Waiting for Bubba and I to get home.
Did I tell you?
Yesterday was the most stress filled day I've had so far this year...at least work wise.
I tend to cause undue stress on myself in other areas on a regular basis.
*cheesy grin*
In the midst of having a crappy workday, Buggy's school called to tell me she had a sore throat and fever.
I quickly called her Dad to see if he could pick her up. This is just not the season for me to miss work.
Kudos to Buggy's dad, not only did he pick her up, but he arranged to keep her overnight and today until he went to work.
*does thank you for being "active" in your daughter's life praises*
Did I tell you?
A new nickname has been created for Ex#2?
Funny all kinds of blog nicknames come to mind for that...that....person. Yet I can't for the life of me come up with one for my "friend". ANYWAY...
*drum roll*
Captain Cancel. That's Ex#2's nickname.
*insert explicits here* Captain Cancel.
Captain Cancel and SuperMom (that's me, in case you're confused. *ahem*) are gonna battle it out in the superworld.
*adjusts cape*
He CONTINUALLY tells the children what he MIGHT do, or MAYBE do, or TRY to do. Let's just say, he only REALLY does what he says he might, maybe or tries to do about 10% of the time. I might be giving him a slightly better percentage than truth.
Problem, one of many, with his word is I KNOW IT'S NO GOOD. The kids on the other hand, are finding that out, the hard way. SuperMom no likey. SuperMom also no likey the aftermath that ensues with Captain Cancel plays his cancellation game.
Found a quote other day, Jesse Jackson (of whom, i am not a super fan, however, do like this quote. One up to Jesse, pump up the fruit *pumps fist on chest*) "your children need your presence more than your presents."
Let me just add that even a "classy" Jesse would throw in a mofo at the end when speaking in reference to Captain
SuperMom is nothing if not classy, so Captain Cancel here's to you:
"Your children need your PRESENCE more than your PRESENTS (quote, unquote) MOFO.
*flips the Captain a super bird*
Did I tell you?
I am glad today is Thursday.
Friday, November 13, 2009
What divorce means to me....
it means:
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to listen to you.
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to like you
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to care.
I DON'T HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE. PERIOD.
what this means for you:
STOP calling to "chat"
Stop coming in to "tuck the kids in for bed" and then CONTINUING TO HANG AROUND AFTER YOU'VE tucked said kids into bed.
Stop inviting yourself into what were once family activities that you were never that interested in participating in while we were married.
-------------------
Ex#2 has backed off somewhat, but I had to blow up and tell him to BACK OFF. One weekend that he had the kids, he called me every single day and even twice on one day. I didn't answer any of the calls. If it were important he'd leave a message.
It's so intrusive. It's so aggravating.
Anyway, as I said, he has backed off for the most part.
Holidays are approaching.
The schedule for Christmas is this: Buggy will be with her father Christmas Eve, Bubba will be with his father for Christmas Eve. Both children are to come HOME Christmas morning around 9ish. THEN IT IS MY TIME WITH THEM. MINE.
Ex#2 (seriously, shoot me if I ever suggest, hint or even entertain the idea of remarrying) whines the other day on the phone that he doesn't have anything to do after he drops off Bubba.
*silence on my part*
He continues on that maybe he could hang around while the kids open their gifts from Santa.
*silence on my part*
*deep breath*
THEN he says that my Aunt....MY AUNT...invited him to Christmas at her house later that night.
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
He plays the poor me card so well that my (reiterate MY) family invites him.
Hi. We. are. divorced.
*deep breath*
So after lighting up a smoke, taking a deep inhale I finally spoke.
I said, if you are attending MY FAMILY'S Christmas later at my Aunt's then NO. You may not hang around my house Christmas morning.
We'll see how it all turns out.
Where the hell is his girlfriend to put an end to this madness? WHY CAN'T I PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS?
_______
Just got an email from EX#2 asking me out for dinner...SERIOUSLY...what the hell?
It's not even funny anymore. For real.
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to listen to you.
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to like you
I don't have to hang out with you anymore and pretend to care.
I DON'T HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE. PERIOD.
what this means for you:
STOP calling to "chat"
Stop coming in to "tuck the kids in for bed" and then CONTINUING TO HANG AROUND AFTER YOU'VE tucked said kids into bed.
Stop inviting yourself into what were once family activities that you were never that interested in participating in while we were married.
-------------------
Ex#2 has backed off somewhat, but I had to blow up and tell him to BACK OFF. One weekend that he had the kids, he called me every single day and even twice on one day. I didn't answer any of the calls. If it were important he'd leave a message.
It's so intrusive. It's so aggravating.
Anyway, as I said, he has backed off for the most part.
Holidays are approaching.
The schedule for Christmas is this: Buggy will be with her father Christmas Eve, Bubba will be with his father for Christmas Eve. Both children are to come HOME Christmas morning around 9ish. THEN IT IS MY TIME WITH THEM. MINE.
Ex#2 (seriously, shoot me if I ever suggest, hint or even entertain the idea of remarrying) whines the other day on the phone that he doesn't have anything to do after he drops off Bubba.
*silence on my part*
He continues on that maybe he could hang around while the kids open their gifts from Santa.
*silence on my part*
*deep breath*
THEN he says that my Aunt....MY AUNT...invited him to Christmas at her house later that night.
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
He plays the poor me card so well that my (reiterate MY) family invites him.
Hi. We. are. divorced.
*deep breath*
So after lighting up a smoke, taking a deep inhale I finally spoke.
I said, if you are attending MY FAMILY'S Christmas later at my Aunt's then NO. You may not hang around my house Christmas morning.
We'll see how it all turns out.
Where the hell is his girlfriend to put an end to this madness? WHY CAN'T I PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS?
_______
Just got an email from EX#2 asking me out for dinner...SERIOUSLY...what the hell?
It's not even funny anymore. For real.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Can't buy Love
Click the button to check out Mommy from the Midwest and other participating in Totally Ticks me off Tuesday
I love my children.
I don't need to show my love in the form of material things. Sure it's nice to buy them things, but it's not what they will remember when they are older. (At least it's not what I want them to remember) I don't want them to equate "love" with what they were bought.
Ex#2 just does not get this concept.
It's not entirely his fault, his mom is the source of his behavior. As a child, he remembers getting EVERYTHING he asked for and maybe didn't ask for. When he talks about his childhood it's all revolving around the things he had. In fact, he's still very into the materialistic things now as an adult.
Anyways.
Ex#2 has the kids every other weekend. Each time they come home they have something new that he has bought them. A new toy, or new shoes (which at least is practical and I do appreciate it).
Buggy was sitting at the table this morning and she offers up this lil tidbit:
"(Ex#2's name) said he is going to get me something more for my birthday because the necklaces that he bought just weren't ENOUGH for a birthday present."
me: *blink blink*
"OH? That's nice honey."
It's THAT mentality that just ticks me off!!
"Well, the necklaces were nice enough honey. It's really the thought that counts and the fact that you were surrounded by your friends and family that love you. It's not about what he bought, didn't buy or otherwise."
Now she's just blinking at me.
*crickets*
It is NOT about what you have; it's about who you are!!
"Well, if that is what he wants to do babe, then that is nice of him."
*****
After his weekend with the kids I got an email from him that let me know that the kids showered.
*looks around*
I responded with, "OK, thanks."
To which he replied back with, "oh and I bought them shoes."
Are you serious?
*works on father of the year award/metal*
My email back should read:
"Hey. Got the kids up for school this morning, dressed them, fed them breakfast, loaded them and their backpacks into the van, drove them to school and dropped them off. *shew* Tonight I will pick them up, get homework done WHILE I cook dinner. Once the dinner mess is cleaned up I will get their jammies on, read library books, and tuck them in."
Rinse, lather and repeat for next day.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
oh THE big D.
So as I quickly mentioned on Tuesday, I'm divorced.
It was all so surreal. Kinda like when I went into labor with the kids, I stood with amniotic fluid running down my legs (tmi?), in denial that I was ACTUALLY in labor.
STBE = Ex#2 now.
We were getting really annoyed with the lack of progress. We discussed the terms, decided to just friggin agree and get it over with. He told his lawyer, she wrote it up, sent it to my lawyer. My lawyer called me, had me run in and sign and THEN GET THIS...
SHE HAD ME RUN THEM TO THE COURTHOUSE MYSELF.
I know, take a minute, let that sink in.
I'll wait.
*taps fingers on desk*
Here's why, it'd save me money and guarantee they were taken/stamped in a timely manner...cause the over $3000 she already sucked out of me was her limit apparently on sucking.
*ahem*
Ex#2 decides he wants to go along for this joy ride, so I used the time tobitch and moan nicely point out, had he not been such a jackass this whole thing could have been done MONTHS ago, with probably ONE lawyer, not TWO fucking lawyers doing close to nothing for $3000 each.
*stands back up from being bent over and abused*
Nonetheless, we trudged up the five flights to the judge's office, where the assistant (secretary?) rifled through the papers, got out her nifty judge's stamp and declared us DIVORCED.
Just like that.
Judge not necessary, just her signature stamp.
Ex#2 looked at me, looked at the assistant and said, "that's it?" he turns to me, "Can't change your mind now."
Without laughing in his face, cause I'm not THAT bitchy, I said, "Sorry, I'm not going to change my mind."
Really, it is sad. But I KNOW it's the best decision for me and the kids. I've been trying to make this decision for years...and now it's done. All that agonizing, all that drama, all the tears, the hurt, and some of the good times...with one judges' stamp they are over in theory.
I am not proud of decisions I made during this marriage or before it, but I am proud of myself for finally making the decision to get out.
It was all so surreal. Kinda like when I went into labor with the kids, I stood with amniotic fluid running down my legs (tmi?), in denial that I was ACTUALLY in labor.
STBE = Ex#2 now.
We were getting really annoyed with the lack of progress. We discussed the terms, decided to just friggin agree and get it over with. He told his lawyer, she wrote it up, sent it to my lawyer. My lawyer called me, had me run in and sign and THEN GET THIS...
SHE HAD ME RUN THEM TO THE COURTHOUSE MYSELF.
I know, take a minute, let that sink in.
I'll wait.
*taps fingers on desk*
Here's why, it'd save me money and guarantee they were taken/stamped in a timely manner...cause the over $3000 she already sucked out of me was her limit apparently on sucking.
*ahem*
Ex#2 decides he wants to go along for this joy ride, so I used the time to
*stands back up from being bent over and abused*
Nonetheless, we trudged up the five flights to the judge's office, where the assistant (secretary?) rifled through the papers, got out her nifty judge's stamp and declared us DIVORCED.
Just like that.
Judge not necessary, just her signature stamp.
Ex#2 looked at me, looked at the assistant and said, "that's it?" he turns to me, "Can't change your mind now."
Without laughing in his face, cause I'm not THAT bitchy, I said, "Sorry, I'm not going to change my mind."
Really, it is sad. But I KNOW it's the best decision for me and the kids. I've been trying to make this decision for years...and now it's done. All that agonizing, all that drama, all the tears, the hurt, and some of the good times...with one judges' stamp they are over in theory.
I am not proud of decisions I made during this marriage or before it, but I am proud of myself for finally making the decision to get out.
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