It's Christmas Eve

Hope Santa brings you and your families everything you could have dream of, ask for and wish.

This is a completely inappropriate video for Christmas, but sometimes, I'm completely inappropriate...so enjoy.



Merry Christmas to you all!

mmm Schweaty Balls.

BEWARE...very funny, do not take any drinks while watching you will choke.



There is NOTHING I can say after that video that doesn't come accross totally dirty.

So, happy Christmas Eve Eve. :)

Santa's my BOYFRIEND.

Shake Weight

I'm all about being healthy....




Well, it sure as hell worked my stomach muscles laughing...enjoy.


*On a follow video Ellen says, it worked muscles she's NEVER worked out before...muahahahah. I love her.

WTF Blanket

hahahahaha.
*deep breath*

hahahahah.

Oh Marge.

Pecan Nuts?

Seriously, it's making my stomach hurt from laughing....

Fit of giggles.

I mean I am seriously going to have a stomach ache from giggling this morning.

First.
I get to work, early.

I know, crazy hilarious, right?

I sign on to the computer...emails, facebook, myspace....*screeching tires*

Remember my Totally Ticked off Tuesday about myspace?

What? You don't? Ugh. Here.

This morning, I got a friend request from Knaughty Knight...SERIOUSLY...roflmao.
I'd totally link you up to his page, except, when I went to check it out, (shut up, I was curious) my real dad's SECOND WIFE was the in the number one spot of Mr Knight's friend list.

I about lost it...spit out my coffee laughing. Are you kidding me? Seriously?
*deep breath, hyperventilating in fit of laughter*


THEN, if I couldn't get any more hysterical, I go back to facebook and find this F-ing treasure. *can't hold back the giggles*

Ready? Brace yourself...this is CLASSIC...


Find more videos like this on AdBakery.com


Keep watching even after they give you the ad line, good times.

*SNORT*

GOOD TIMES. It's poo-rific.

You're welcome.
Have a happy hump day.

Fun-days.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

awe....

roflmao.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

deedeeda.



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

blogging funnies...

ha, oh no she didn't.

(I'm probably sipping a Margarita RIGHT NOW AT THE JIMMY BUFFET Pre-party concert, thought you'd like to know)

HIL-AR-IOUS

Name- FAIL.



see more pwn and owned pictures

Sometimes, I *am* funny

So I have been car pooling with a co-worker *cough*.

We pull into the gas station on the way home because I need smokes milk. As I am climbing back into the van another car pulls into the parking space next to us.

I get in, close the door and notice a sign on the other car's door.

I don't remember exactly what it said, word for word, but it was something like,

Hey YO, I'll be your personal trainer in YOUR home.

or maybe it was

House Calls, I'll be your personal trainer.

I can't remember exactly what it said, but as I read it out loud we both broke our necks to try to observe this "personal trainer" that "does house calls".

He wasn't bad looking. My co-worker and I just looked at each other and smiled.

(I secretly kicked myself for not getting the number off of his car sign. Just in case, ya know, if I need training...in my home.)

A few minutes of silence goes by and I say to my co-worker.

"I wonder if he brings his own equipment..."

Giggling ensues.

When *I* crack myself up, there is no stop to the giggling that happens. I almost choked myself giggling.

The co-workers response was, "I wonder if he has group rates..."

The rest of the ride home had me smiling with thousands of nice images in my head and pats on the back for my HILARIOUS thoughts.

Sometimes, I *am* funny! Or at least *I* think I am and in which case, I TOTALLY AM.

*sings- let's get physical, physical*

Sunday Funnies

this would be sweet.


I bet this is not so sweet.

Oh....Santa....

It's still Thanksgiving Weekend...

I am technically in St. Louis right now....hamming it up with my Best Friend...and our combined number of FIVE kids. :) Seriously, thank goodness it is Budweiser town down there...and her hubby WORKS for Anheuser-Busch...YUM. BEER.

Anyway, I am sure I am thinking about you all...here is a little funny so you won't miss me so much! ;)

(thanks blogger for scheduled posts!)
((I do not take credit for this list, it was emailed to me))
(((gutter talk makes me giggle)))
((((Immature? I know you are but what am I?))))
(((((carry on)))))


Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving..................
>
>
>
> 1. Talk about a huge breast!
>
> 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
>
> 3. It's Cool Whip time!
>
> 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
>
> 5. That's one terrific spread!
>
> 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
>
> 7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
>
> 8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
>
> 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
>
> 10. Don't play with your meat.
>
> 11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
>
> 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these
> people at once?
>
> 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
>
> 14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
>
> 15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
>
> 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
>
> 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
>
> 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

Tuesday Toots. *giggle*

A Tuesday Toot is in order after last night's TOOTerific find.

In list form:
1) I finally switched from my summer purse to my winter purse, it's a new one I found on CLEARANCE at Target. $11.40! I like it even though I don't like that it isn't summer anymore.

2) I also bought a new pair of jeans this past weekend, size 8, thankyouverymuch. When I was folding them last night, I thought, wow, these look small. :)

3) I just decided I am going to go visit my very best friend at Thanksgiving time. If I miss my friends so much, sitting here whining about it won't do me any good. A visit will. I haven't confirmed this with her...or Buggy's dad (or anyone else, I mean, I JUST decided this), but I intend to and hopefully it all will work out.

4) I gained 2 lbs at my last WW meeting...this isn't toot worthy, however, it renewed my vow to maintain and reminded me that I need to keep up the tracking and that is how I will remain...HOT and in that size 8 jean.

5) Even though I whined about missing my IRL friends, I had the overwhelming support of all of YOU, MY ONLINE FRIENDS...and that is just nice, so I toot (damn fiber bars)in your honor 'cause you all rock too!

6) I uploaded a lot of pictures last night, my computer froze in the middle, but it got most of them...and I love pictures. LOVE THEM.

7) I am feeling better today compared to yesterday, tonight I have a counseling appointment, that should help even more. I hope.

8) I am booked for November 15Th to photograph someones wedding. It's scary and I have TONS to learn about my new camera, but I am excited to do this. It could open up a great passion of mine for the future and that makes me feel giddy. Even better, she is willing to pay me...sure, it's a ton LESS than what she would pay a "real" photographer, so it is a win win for us both. :D

9) that might be it...I might be tooted out. So get outta here...tooters. Go, eat a fiber one bar, help your blood pressure or someone else's. It's about saving the world, people, one sulfur fart at a time. So GO. NOW.

Fart...astic time

Shut up.

Seriously, how do you make a sad, down in the dumps day better?

That's right, flatulence.

I mean, because really, what is more funny than that? I dare you. Find something funnier...because, it won't take the part of a fart.

Imagine my surprise finding such an article...as I read it, it turns into blah blah blah scientist stuff, so I go right back to the title and giggle some more.

Email Queen-but this one is funny

My Aunt. She is the email queen. It isn't "hey darling beautiful niece how are you" emails...no. It is CRAP. Junk email. I am half tempted to mark her address as spam.

However, the other day, I actually took a few minutes to read one that she sent through. It made me laugh and it felt appropriate for my blog. (and many of yours MATTER OF FACT MOMMY I AM LOOKING AT YOU) So here it is.

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids
what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates and begged their dad for the clue.

Smiling broadly and arching one eyebrow, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes.'

The little girl screams to her brother,

'Don't eat it, it's an asshole!'



HA!